feat(uptimekuma): normalize names off Homepage, publish the status page, restore the widget

NAMES. Homepage already answers "what is this service called", so the monitor
name is now that name verbatim -- a second naming authority is how drift starts,
and an alert reading "[Uptime Kuma] Beszel hub is DOWN" sends you hunting for a
card that does not exist. Only two rows moved (Beszel hub -> Beszel, Dozzle hub
-> Dozzle); the " hub" suffixes were mine, not the services'.

The remaining mixed case is deliberate and is now documented as such. talk, vor
and task-board are lowercase on Homepage and in their own repos; title-casing
them here would make this board disagree with both. What actually looked messy
was scripts/kuma's own ASCII-ordinal sort, which buried every lowercase name
below every capitalised one. Fixed to case-insensitive.

⚠ RENAME SAFETY, which this pass needed and did not have. The seed keys on NAME,
so editing a name would have read as a brand-new monitor: added fresh, with the
old row orphaned, still checking, still alerting, and holding all the history.
`rename_from:` names the old row for one run. Verified: both renamed monitors
kept their IDs and all 67 heartbeats.

Added with it, an orphan warning for any row on the board the spec no longer
names -- because a forgotten monitor keeps paging. Its first cut diffed against
the PRE-EDIT snapshot and so cried wolf on its own successful renames; it
re-reads the board now. A warning that fires on its own correct work is worse
than no warning.

STATUS PAGE + WIDGET. The Homepage uptimekuma widget reads a PUBLISHED status
page (/api/status-page/<slug>), not the admin API -- which is why the widget
labels were deliberately absent from the rebuild: a dashboard widget pointed at
a 404 is the suspected mechanism behind both of Homepage's unkillable D-state
wedges, so shipping one on purpose would have been daft.

The page now exists at slug `nethealth` (the pre-rebuild slug, so old references
still resolve) and is DECLARED IN monitors.yaml, applied by `kuma seed`. Same
principle as the notification channel: a from-scratch rebuild restores the page,
the channel and the monitors together, and nothing the widget depends on lives
only in Kuma's database. Verified in a browser: "13 SITES UP / 0 SITES DOWN /
100% UPTIME" on the dashboard.

⚠ saveStatusPage calls imgDataUrl.startsWith() unconditionally, so passing null
throws and leaves the page CREATED BUT EMPTY -- which reads as success from
/api/status-page (200, correct title) while the group list is silently blank.
Pass "" instead. Commented at the call site.

scripts/kuma

@@ -119,6 +119,7 @@ class Kuma:
         self._monitor_list: dict | None = None
 
         self._notification_list: list | None = None
+        self._status_page_list: dict | None = None
 
         @self.sio.on("monitorList")
         def _on_monitor_list(data):
@@ -128,6 +129,10 @@ class Kuma:
         def _on_notification_list(data):
             self._notification_list = data or []
 
+        @self.sio.on("statusPageList")
+        def _on_status_page_list(data):
+            self._status_page_list = data or {}
+
     def __enter__(self):
         self.sio.connect(self.url, transports=["websocket"], wait_timeout=20)
         self._connected = True
@@ -172,6 +177,47 @@ class Kuma:
             raise RuntimeError("no monitorList event within %ss -- not logged in?" % timeout)
         return self._monitor_list
 
+    def status_pages(self, timeout: int = 10) -> list:
+        deadline = time.time() + timeout
+        while self._status_page_list is None and time.time() < deadline:
+            self.sio.sleep(0.2)
+        return list((self._status_page_list or {}).values())
+
+    def ensure_status_page(self, slug: str, title: str, groups: list):
+        """Create the page if absent, then save its config and membership.
+
+        The Homepage `uptimekuma` widget calls /api/status-page/<slug> and
+        /api/status-page/heartbeat/<slug>; without a PUBLISHED page at that slug
+        the widget polls a 404 forever. That is why the widget labels were held
+        back when this service was rebuilt -- a dashboard widget pointed at a
+        dead target is the suspected cause of both of Homepage's unkillable
+        wedges, so shipping one deliberately would have been daft.
+        """
+        have = {sp.get("slug") for sp in self.status_pages()}
+        if slug not in have:
+            self.call("addStatusPage", title, slug)
+        cfg = {
+            "slug": slug, "title": title,
+            "description": "Fleet service layer — is the service actually serving.",
+            "logo": None, "theme": "dark", "published": True,
+            "showTags": False, "footerText": None, "customCSS": "",
+            "showPoweredBy": False, "rssTitle": title,
+            "showOnlyLastHeartbeat": False, "showCertificateExpiry": False,
+            "autoRefreshInterval": 300, "domainNameList": [],
+            "googleAnalyticsId": None, "analyticsId": None,
+            "analyticsScriptUrl": None, "analyticsType": None,
+        }
+        # ⚠ imgDataUrl must be a STRING, not None. The handler calls
+        # imgDataUrl.startsWith("data:") unconditionally, so null throws
+        # "Cannot read properties of null" and the page is created but never
+        # populated -- which looks like success from /api/status-page (200,
+        # correct title) while the group list is empty.
+        return self.call("saveStatusPage", (slug, cfg, "", groups), timeout=45)
+
+    def monitors_by_name(self) -> dict:
+        """Fresh read of the board, keyed by name."""
+        return {m.get("name"): m for m in self.monitors().values()}
+
     def delete(self, monitor_id: int):
         return self.call("deleteMonitor", monitor_id, False)
 
@@ -230,7 +276,10 @@ def cmd_list(args):
             print("no monitors")
             return
         print(f"{'ID':>4}  {'NAME':<28} {'TYPE':<6} {'ACT':<4} TARGET")
-        for m in sorted(mons.values(), key=lambda x: (x.get("name") or "")):
+        # Case-INSENSITIVE: an ASCII-ordinal sort buries every lowercase
+        # service name (talk, vor, task-board) below every capitalised one,
+        # which reads as a messy board when it is really a messy sort.
+        for m in sorted(mons.values(), key=lambda x: (x.get("name") or "").lower()):
             tgt = m.get("url") or f"{m.get('hostname','')}:{m.get('port','')}"
             print(f"{m.get('id'):>4}  {(m.get('name') or '')[:28]:<28} "
                   f"{(m.get('type') or '')[:6]:<6} {str(m.get('active')):<4} {tgt[:52]}")
@@ -260,18 +309,60 @@ def cmd_seed(args):
             k.add_notification({**NOTIFICATION_DEFAULTS, **ch})
             print(f"  + {ch['name']} (channel)")
         existing = {m.get("name"): m for m in k.monitors().values()}
-        added = updated = 0
+        added = updated = renamed = 0
         for m in wanted:
-            if m["name"] in existing:
+            spec_m = {kk: vv for kk, vv in m.items() if kk != "rename_from"}
-                merged = {**existing[m["name"]], **m}
+            target = existing.get(m["name"])
-                k.edit(merged)
+
+            # RENAME SUPPORT, and it is load-bearing rather than a nicety.
+            # This seed is keyed on NAME, so editing a name in the spec would
+            # otherwise read as a brand-new monitor: the tool would ADD it and
+            # leave the old row orphaned, still checking, still alerting, and
+            # carrying all the history. `rename_from` names the old row for one
+            # run; drop the line once the rename has landed.
+            if target is None and m.get("rename_from"):
+                target = existing.get(m["rename_from"])
+                if target is not None:
+                    k.edit({**target, **spec_m})
+                    renamed += 1
+                    print(f"  > {m['rename_from']} -> {m['name']}")
+                    continue
+
+            if target is not None:
+                k.edit({**target, **spec_m})
                 updated += 1
                 print(f"  ~ {m['name']}")
             else:
-                k.add(m)
+                k.add(spec_m)
                 added += 1
                 print(f"  + {m['name']}")
-        print(f"\n{added} added, {updated} updated, {len(wanted)} in spec")
+
+        # A monitor on the board that the spec no longer names is not silently
+        # fine -- a forgotten row keeps checking and keeps alerting.
+        #
+        # ⚠ RE-READ THE BOARD FIRST. The first cut diffed against `existing`,
+        # the snapshot taken BEFORE the edits, so every row this run had just
+        # renamed was still in it under its old name and got reported as an
+        # orphan that no longer existed. A warning that cries wolf on its own
+        # successful work is worse than no warning.
+        spec_names = {m["name"] for m in wanted}
+        orphans = sorted(n for n in k.monitors_by_name() if n not in spec_names)
+        if orphans:
+            print("\n  ⚠ on the board but NOT in the spec (left alone, still alerting):")
+            for o in orphans:
+                print(f"      {o}")
+
+        print(f"\n{added} added, {updated} updated, {renamed} renamed, {len(wanted)} in spec")
+
+        # LAST, because the page references monitor IDs and therefore needs the
+        # monitors to exist first.
+        sp = spec.get("status_page") if isinstance(spec, dict) else None
+        if sp:
+            board = k.monitors_by_name()
+            members = [{"id": board[n]["id"]} for n in sorted(board, key=str.lower) if n in board]
+            k.ensure_status_page(sp["slug"], sp.get("title", "Fleet"),
+                                 [{"name": sp.get("group", "Services"), "monitorList": members}])
+            print(f"  status page /status/{sp['slug']} -> {len(members)} monitors")
     finally:
         k.__exit__()
 

stacks/uptimekuma/compose.yaml

@@ -66,13 +66,20 @@ services:
       - homepage.description=Service monitoring (fleet)
       - homepage.href=http://10.250.50.70:3001
       - homepage.siteMonitor=http://10.250.50.70:3001
-      # ⚠️ NO `homepage.widget.*` LABELS YET, deliberately. The widget needs a
+      # The widget reads a PUBLISHED status page, not the admin API:
-      #   published status-page slug; on a from-scratch install none exists, so
+      # /api/status-page/<slug> and /api/status-page/heartbeat/<slug>. These
-      #   the widget would poll a 404 forever. That matters more than usual
+      # labels were deliberately absent from the 2026-09-21 rebuild until that
-      #   here: homepage widgets pointed at dead targets are the suspected
+      # page existed, because a dashboard widget pointed at a 404 is the
-      #   mechanism behind BOTH of this dashboard's unkillable D-state wedges
+      # suspected mechanism behind BOTH of Homepage's unkillable D-state wedges
-      #   (see incident_esh_docker_nfs_boot_race, 2026-06-03). Re-add the widget
+      # (incident_esh_docker_nfs_boot_race, 2026-06-03) -- shipping one on
-      #   labels only once the status page actually exists.
+      # purpose would have been daft.
+      #
+      # The page is defined in monitors.yaml (`status_page:`) and applied by
+      # `scripts/kuma seed`, so a from-scratch rebuild restores the slug this
+      # points at. Slug `nethealth` is the one the pre-rebuild instance used.
+      - homepage.widget.type=uptimekuma
+      - homepage.widget.url=http://10.250.50.70:3001
+      - homepage.widget.slug=nethealth
     networks:
       - tnet
 

stacks/uptimekuma/monitors.yaml

@@ -13,6 +13,16 @@
 #         (Beszel's lane: 18 hosts x Status/CPU/Memory/Disk/Temp), and Uptime
 #         Kuma itself (it cannot report its own death — that is Beszel's job).
 #
+# NAMES COME FROM HOMEPAGE, VERBATIM. Homepage already answers "what is this
+# service called", and a second naming authority is how drift starts: an alert
+# reading "[Uptime Kuma] Beszel hub is DOWN" sends you looking for a card called
+# "Beszel hub" that does not exist. So the monitor name IS the dashboard name --
+# which is why this normalisation pass only moved two rows. The remaining mixed
+# case (talk, vor, task-board against Gitea, Backrest) is NOT an inconsistency to
+# fix: those are the products' own names, lowercase on Homepage and lowercase in
+# their own repos. Title-casing them here would make this board disagree with
+# both. `rename_from` exists for exactly this operation -- see scripts/kuma.
+#
 # Every URL below was probed before being written here: all returned 200 on
 # 2026-09-21. A seed that ships red on day one teaches everyone to ignore the
 # board, which is how you end up with a monitor nobody reads.
@@ -30,6 +40,18 @@
 # Route: Kuma -> althing-alert-bridge (/kuma) -> postbox -> infra-ops inbox.
 # Same path Beszel uses, different route, so the subject says which tool spoke:
 # "[Uptime Kuma] Homepage is DOWN" rather than a Beszel-labelled lie.
+# ---- the published status page -----------------------------------------------
+# Exists so Homepage's `uptimekuma` widget has something to read: it calls
+# /api/status-page/<slug> and /api/status-page/heartbeat/<slug>, and without a
+# published page at that slug it polls a 404 forever. The widget labels on
+# stacks/uptimekuma/compose.yaml were deliberately held back until this existed.
+# Slug kept as `nethealth` -- the same one the pre-rebuild instance used, so any
+# bookmark or older reference still resolves.
+status_page:
+  slug: nethealth
+  title: PFI fleet services
+  group: Services
+
 notifications:
   - name: althing (infra-ops)
     webhookURL: http://10.100.10.50:8096/kuma
@@ -78,7 +100,7 @@ monitors:
     description: fleet voice bench
 
   # ---- monitoring + backup: a blind monitor is worse than none ----
-  - name: Beszel hub
+  - name: Beszel
     url: http://10.250.50.70:8090
     description: the host layer; if this is down we are blind to 18 hosts
 
@@ -86,5 +108,5 @@ monitors:
     url: http://10.250.50.70:9898
     description: restic orchestration — a silent backup failure is the expensive kind
 
-  - name: Dozzle hub
+  - name: Dozzle
     url: http://10.250.50.70:8088